MY POST PARTUM FITNESS JOURNEY:
6 months post partum:
I have not attained my weight loss goal. I am so unhappy with my body. I am so depressed that I wasn’t able to get to my pre-pregnancy weight by now. I am so worried that people will judge me for not looking like a personal trainer already. I am so tired…
These are the thoughts that have been lingering in my mind for a good 2 months. Luckily, it was my very own clients that have helped me with my body issues post-partum.
If you have read my previous blog, I used to be 65 lbs overweight. I was able to lose it all and find a healthier me. So I know how to do this right! Wrong. Losing weight is one thing. But losing weight right after your body went through a trauma is a different story.
I didn’t factor into account my hormones, the sleep deprivation and the fact that I returned to a full time workload after 3 months while my baby dearest kept waking up at least 4 times a night.
This blog was supposed to be about the types of training I did to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I changed it. Instead, I wanted to share some of the difficulties I encountered throughout my journey.
…
6 weeks post-partum, I finally stopped bleeding, however was not given the ok from my doc to train just yet due to my second degree tear. I had to wait a full 3 months to actually start training again.
3 months post-partum. I can finally train!
I wanted to very careful; therefore I did a super easy training, or what I believed to be a super easy training. I was drastically disappointed in how difficult every move felt. This “Super Easy” training went so bad. It was so hard to move. I felt like I had someone else’s body. I couldn’t even do a body weight squat. I couldn’t bend like I used to, I had knee pain, I had hip pain and well, to put it quite frankly, I peed myself. This part is extremely hard for me to share but I feel I should mention it for all you mamas that might experience this. Please don’t be ashamed. It’s normal and it does get better.
I came home to my husband with tears in my eyes after my first training. He had to really get it through my head that it was not simply the 3 month break that affected my body, but that my body had gone through a major ordeal. He reassured me that I would feel much better again as long as I stayed consistent. And so I continued my training. It took me slightly longer than I thought, but I did get stronger and found my core strength again. I think this was the key for everything else. I started feeling like my old self again.
5 months post-partum:
I’ve become obsessed with my weight; I keep weighing myself day and night. The scale hasn’t decreased much. I still have another 15 lbs to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and now I’m feeling the pressure to look like a trainer ASAP. What would people think… I work in a gym and I help so many with their weight loss, I should be able to do this without a problem. I needed to push harder.
I started training 5-6 times a week on very little sleep. My baby has still not been able to do her nights. She wakes up about 4-5 times a night. I have honestly had days where I had slept 1 hour and still managed to wake up at 5:00am, bring the baby with me to the gym and train. I then completed a full day of clients after my training. You would think I would be losing weight. Nope. I was gaining. I was at a loss. I was exhausted, depressed and hurt. Yup, I got hurt three times because I was pushing my body too much with very little rest. You would think as a trainer, I would know not to do this, but I was desperate to see the pounds decrease on the scale.
Then, one of my clients had a heart to heart with me. It was her words that helped me finally let go of my addiction to the scale. She made me realise that all this pressure that I was putting on myself to get back to my pre-pregnancy body was put on by me. No one is looking at me and judging me. She was right, but sadly, there were a few people that voiced their opinion of how a trainer should look post-partum which stuck in my head. I was so scared to be judged that I had become obsessed. Some moms will bounce back right away to their pre-pregnancy body, some won't. I'm part of the latter. It took me a while and I still struggle with this, everybody is different, every birth is different, every circumstance is different. But I finally let go. It has now been 6 months that I am blessed to be a mom. I feel better about myself and now only exercise when I am better rested to avoid any further injuries. I have since then put my scale away and decided to simply be healthy and happy.
I do still find it difficult to see my body in a different light. I know that I have made significant change and I am happy with myself; however my issues still lie in my mind. It won't go away overnight, but I am actively reminding myself to love my body for it has gone through so much. I am thankful for being healthy and having energy for my baby girl. I am thankful for being able to exercise and stay healthy. I am thankful for the people that I have in my life that continually help me even if I'm supposed to be helping them.
But most of all, and I am grateful for having the chance to write this for the next woman that feels insecure about herself or has had pressure in any sort of way to change the way they looked. Forget the magazines; forget what social media tells us we should look like, forget the haters. We are beautiful in our own way. Sending you my love xoxo
6 months post partum:
I have not attained my weight loss goal. I am so unhappy with my body. I am so depressed that I wasn’t able to get to my pre-pregnancy weight by now. I am so worried that people will judge me for not looking like a personal trainer already. I am so tired…
These are the thoughts that have been lingering in my mind for a good 2 months. Luckily, it was my very own clients that have helped me with my body issues post-partum.
If you have read my previous blog, I used to be 65 lbs overweight. I was able to lose it all and find a healthier me. So I know how to do this right! Wrong. Losing weight is one thing. But losing weight right after your body went through a trauma is a different story.
I didn’t factor into account my hormones, the sleep deprivation and the fact that I returned to a full time workload after 3 months while my baby dearest kept waking up at least 4 times a night.
This blog was supposed to be about the types of training I did to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I changed it. Instead, I wanted to share some of the difficulties I encountered throughout my journey.
…
6 weeks post-partum, I finally stopped bleeding, however was not given the ok from my doc to train just yet due to my second degree tear. I had to wait a full 3 months to actually start training again.
3 months post-partum. I can finally train!
I wanted to very careful; therefore I did a super easy training, or what I believed to be a super easy training. I was drastically disappointed in how difficult every move felt. This “Super Easy” training went so bad. It was so hard to move. I felt like I had someone else’s body. I couldn’t even do a body weight squat. I couldn’t bend like I used to, I had knee pain, I had hip pain and well, to put it quite frankly, I peed myself. This part is extremely hard for me to share but I feel I should mention it for all you mamas that might experience this. Please don’t be ashamed. It’s normal and it does get better.
I came home to my husband with tears in my eyes after my first training. He had to really get it through my head that it was not simply the 3 month break that affected my body, but that my body had gone through a major ordeal. He reassured me that I would feel much better again as long as I stayed consistent. And so I continued my training. It took me slightly longer than I thought, but I did get stronger and found my core strength again. I think this was the key for everything else. I started feeling like my old self again.
5 months post-partum:
I’ve become obsessed with my weight; I keep weighing myself day and night. The scale hasn’t decreased much. I still have another 15 lbs to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and now I’m feeling the pressure to look like a trainer ASAP. What would people think… I work in a gym and I help so many with their weight loss, I should be able to do this without a problem. I needed to push harder.
I started training 5-6 times a week on very little sleep. My baby has still not been able to do her nights. She wakes up about 4-5 times a night. I have honestly had days where I had slept 1 hour and still managed to wake up at 5:00am, bring the baby with me to the gym and train. I then completed a full day of clients after my training. You would think I would be losing weight. Nope. I was gaining. I was at a loss. I was exhausted, depressed and hurt. Yup, I got hurt three times because I was pushing my body too much with very little rest. You would think as a trainer, I would know not to do this, but I was desperate to see the pounds decrease on the scale.
Then, one of my clients had a heart to heart with me. It was her words that helped me finally let go of my addiction to the scale. She made me realise that all this pressure that I was putting on myself to get back to my pre-pregnancy body was put on by me. No one is looking at me and judging me. She was right, but sadly, there were a few people that voiced their opinion of how a trainer should look post-partum which stuck in my head. I was so scared to be judged that I had become obsessed. Some moms will bounce back right away to their pre-pregnancy body, some won't. I'm part of the latter. It took me a while and I still struggle with this, everybody is different, every birth is different, every circumstance is different. But I finally let go. It has now been 6 months that I am blessed to be a mom. I feel better about myself and now only exercise when I am better rested to avoid any further injuries. I have since then put my scale away and decided to simply be healthy and happy.
I do still find it difficult to see my body in a different light. I know that I have made significant change and I am happy with myself; however my issues still lie in my mind. It won't go away overnight, but I am actively reminding myself to love my body for it has gone through so much. I am thankful for being healthy and having energy for my baby girl. I am thankful for being able to exercise and stay healthy. I am thankful for the people that I have in my life that continually help me even if I'm supposed to be helping them.
But most of all, and I am grateful for having the chance to write this for the next woman that feels insecure about herself or has had pressure in any sort of way to change the way they looked. Forget the magazines; forget what social media tells us we should look like, forget the haters. We are beautiful in our own way. Sending you my love xoxo
Photo used under Creative Commons from Rob-Stephens